Love of My Life

Over the years I've been in four serious relationships, three I  married and one I didn't ; thank goodness because he was very abusive.

I am married to the love of my life now, Donnie! We met back in the 90's. My abusive boyfriend at that time actually introduced us. Donnie was also in a relationship when we first met. We became close friends and through the years we could always confide in each other. We celebrated each others successes and were always there for each other during the bad times.

I really grew to care for him and thought he was amazing but didn't think we'd ever be together as a couple. When I became single he'd be in a relationship; when he was single I was in a relationship. Our relationship as friends was one of trust and respect. I had always wanted to be more than friends with him but we seemed to never be single at the same time. Also the thought of losing his friendship if we got together and had a bad break up was not anything I wanted to chance.

Over the years we had even set up the other with friends when the other was single but those relationships never worked out.
Although I adored him and was attracted to him I never let him know how I cared about him and that I was in love him.

By chance we finally were both single and one evening he showed up at my home. One thing lead to another and we crossed over that "friendship" line. I was happy and scared at the same time because I was afraid of losing him as a friend. Time passed and we both finally told each other how we felt. Turns out we'd been attracted to each other for many years but thought we weren't each others type because we were never single at the same time and hadn't told the other how we felt about the other. I figured we just weren't meant to be together.

He lived his life, even moving out of state for awhile. I had become very close to his grandparents; they raised him, and always knew where he was and how he was doing. Everytime he'd come back to Colorado I knew it somehow without ever being told by anyone. I'd call one of his close friends and ask if Donnie was there, I'd always be told he hadn't seen him. But shortly after I'd get a callback from Donnie and he just got into town. It is eerie when it happens but that is how in tune we are. To this day I still get a gut feeling from him and I'll call him to make sure everything is okay. He gets the same vibes about me.

Don't get me wrong, our relationship hasn't been all roses and happiness. We've had our ups and downs more than once. But once emotions have settled and we've had time to think about things we are back in each others arms.

It won't be long now before Donnie will be home. He's been gone since April 2012. It has been a struggle for me and many life changes have occurred during his time in prison. I have had lots of alone time for soul searching and I know I LOVE MY HUSBAND MORE THAN MY HEART CAN HOLD!!!

We are going to have a barbecue once he's home with the people who have supported and helped us during our time apart. When times are bad we find out who our "real friends" are. The others can fuck off!

We are also renewing our vows! Our anniversary is March 8, 2004.

I am happily married to my best friend and soulmate <3

<3 Paisley <3

On December 12, 2012 Dharma and Jax blessed us with a female black tricolor puppy. She was a whooping 3.20 ounces when she was whelped. Dharma had an easy time whelping and is a wonderful mom!
Paisley was doing great at first but once she turned a month old she stopped gaining weight. She looked out of porportion, her head was getting bigger and her eyes were getting bigger. She was reminding me of another puppy we had about 10 years ago who was a hydro baby. He, Hemi went to the Rainbow Bridge one night by the time he was a month old. I was so scared and saddened by the thought of Paisley's fate turning out the same for her. But I wasn't going to just do nothing! I started supplemental hand feeding her. Within a couple days I was her food source. Dharma was drying up and Paisley couldn't get her fill nursing.
I'm still feeding her on a special diet of puppy formula, Nutri Drops, Karo Syrup, and Stage 1 baby meat. She LOVES the meats!!! I am feeding her every 3-4 hours now depending on whether or not she's hungry.
I weighed her this evening and she's 7.40 ounces now! She is getting so big! She plays with my hand swatting it with her paw. Chews on my fingers, she's getting her teeth in and boy they are sharp!
We adore Paisley so much! We are so happy that she isn't a "failure to thrive" puppy and pray she will be with us for many years to come!

Getting Sick

UGH!!! I have been sick for almost a week now. Is crazy because I'm not around many people but I do go out in public.
When I open doors I pull my sleeve over my hand (if I'm wearing long sleeves). When we go to stores and utilize their shopping cart we even wipe down the areas we would touch. But yet we still get sick.
I don't like being sick because the world continues on and I fall behind on things. That is a silly statement because I don't know of any one who enjoys it. There isn't anyone but me to do things here at home. I'm not able to do things like I used to any more; getting older sucks big time!
Any ways I thought I'd gotten lucky and skipped getting sick because it has happened previously around November - December. My body decided to just delay it I guess. Hopefully I get over this soon and am able to get my strength back sooner than later.
So... I 'm still here I'm just resting and trying to get back to being healthy.

Laidback Life and Loving It

I have had a lot of time by myself for awhile ... it took some time adjusting to being the only person home. In the beginning I would get so lonely and I'd have to leave before I got too depressed. I don't have many friends I hang out with any more but it was good to get out. I was scared to leave the house because I sometimes would get lost and have no idea where I was so I couldn't get back home. If I didn't make it home before dark I would have panic attacks. After that happened a few times I'd make sure I went out in the early morning so I would be home way before the sunset. It's easier to figure out where I was during the day because of the mountains, they are west and I live out east. I was under so much stress back then that I think that is what caused it. I would also forget lots of things and couldn't remember previous things I did. Life is getting better now and it doesn't happen as frequently. I actually enjoy staying home, I love the peace and easy going attitude of country living not to mention being so close to nature. The city stresses me out! The rude people, the traffic, how close the houses are to each other, and especially how everyone is rushing around. City life isn't for me any more, I need my space and the laid back way of life of country living for my sanity and health. I'm beach bum turned country girl and I'm happy!

Graceless

When I was a youngster I was quite the daredevil, tomboy type. I would climb trees to the tippity top where the branches had new growth and sit for hours watching the world below me. I played baseball and football. I had an amazing arm and could really throw far! I rode bikes, horses and had no fear of falling. Back then when I fell I bounced! Now... not so much! I am an accident waiting to happen. Ugh!!
Getting old sucks!

True Friends

I start a project and somebody hollers at me so I drop everything to go help them. There sits my project not done. When I am wanting help everyone is busy with some ptoject of their own and they won't be bothered with me; or no one answers when I call.
I have one friend I hadn't seen in 15 years who I was fortunate enough to reconnect with on Facebook. Carole has been a Godsend for me! It doesn't matter what day, what time, or why she has always been here for me. I don't know if she'll see this or not but... Carole thank you sooo much for all your support and help you've given me and Donnie! You hold a huge place in my heart and I love you!!!

Wish There Was an Off Switch

I think I'm an "over thinker"! I've been told I always think about things too much. I do think about most things a lot, Pros vs Cons, good over bad, advantages vs disadvantages, effects vs affects, etc. And I still make mistakes! By that I mean I didn't get the outcome I had concluded even after all the thought I put into things. Well... at least I'd like to think (there I go again) that if a similar experience presents itself I will choose a different action to achieve my goal. Sheesh this posting is confusing! To think I thought all day long about what subject I would blog about! Lol Hope I haven't confused you as much as I have myself during my attempt to write this. Reckon I'm off to think some more... happy thoughts. ;)

Furbabies

I love my furbabies! They are so loving and caring. No matter what they always are happy to see me and hang out.
We have Chihuahuas and Australian Shepherds, both are wonderful breeds. They are our "kids" and are rightfully spoiled rotten.
I took a break from breeding for awhile, am starting up again. Was looking for a Chihuahua stud and found him. He'll be coming from my friend Dawn.
I'm also looking for a female Mini Aussie for Harley. At this point I haven't found THE one yet.
This summer once the ground thaws out we'll be making a fenced yard for the Chihuahuas. It will be protected from the winds with lots of shelter from the sun and the predators that hunt out here on the plains.
I'm off to go snuggle with my fur kids <3

From My Heart to Donnie <3

I've been wanting to make Donnie his own fleece-tie blanket and I finally made time and did. It took me 2 hours from start to finish. He hasn't been home over night since April 2012 and we both miss cuddling when we sleep. Also the facility he's at they don't have control of the thermostat in their rooms. It, being winter, has been much colder and it's difficult to get a good nights sleep. When I gave him the blanket this evening, he was here on a homepass. He loved it and said he was taking it back to the facility so he'd be warm. I told him when he was warm he could think of me cuddling with him keeping him warm while he slept. I love my husband with all my heart and am anxious for him to be back home. Sweet dreams baby <3

When the Dust Settles

I have many crafts and hobbies that I've enjoyed over the years and have slowly gotten back into them now that I have an empty nest. There are a few crafts I've been curious about and now I'd like to try doing them. But I've always enjoyed working with my hands, although now my hands don't work as well as they used to. It sometimes takes a little longer to get some things done but I enjoy seeing things from start to finish. I love working with wood a lot! I can't even take a piece of firewood and throw it in the woodstove without looking at it first. My husband laughs about it because he knows I'm going to put some of the wood aside because I am always seeing a "project" in any piece I look at. I will have to take some pictures of my finished works and attach them to this later so you can see what I've created! On one of my sculptures I made from a stick, I was offered $500.00. Each piece I create is done by hand, there are no molds or patterns, they are one-of-a-kind items. Some take a couple days and some a few months. I don't work on one everyday. I work on them when I am in the mood. I tried awhile back to work everyday but the creative juices weren't flowing right and that project ended up being firewood. Each piece is a labor of love <3

Happy New Year

To new beginnings! Tossing away the old and letting in all the positive blessings that are coming my way.
I have closed the book from previous years so I can't flip back and go through the bad times any more. I've forgiven those who did me wrong, I have learned many lessons, some harder than others.
Starting a positive and successful book this year!
May all your hopes and dreams become a reality for you all <3