Our New Master Bedroom

Well... Donnie is home, finally! It's almost been a month now and I can say I am so happy he's here. I really missed him during the 10 months he was away. It was rocky at times but I survived once again. I can honestly say it has been wonderful! He is wonderful, spoiling me a lot. I don't mind one bit either.
We have been working on the house. Gutted the old bar and painted it maroon and sand. It is gorgeous! We got enough done to move into it. I'm in the process of putting up the wall decorations. We are also still moving our clothes and other furnishings.
Donnie winterized the room and it's very cozy too! The room has a lot of light also with windows facing North, West, and South. There is also a patio door facing Pikes Peak. We are going to put a nice sized deck and a fenced yard for the Chihuahuas to enjoy.
Our house is becoming our home and we are very happy!

Holding on by my fingernails...

Time is flying by. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into nights, nights into weeks and weeks into months.

Through it all I am holding my breath and I'm still here alone.Being by myself I have a lot of time to think about things, to watch the world around me go on. My life is on hold as I wait for the love of my life, my other half, my world to come home from prison.

Is it a bad thing to love him so much? I think about him constantly, he's always the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. I often wonder if he thinks about me as much. In my heart I know he does but it's hard since he's not here with me.

He calls me every morning, throughout the day and before he goes to bed and it warms my soul.

I am patiently waiting for him to come home but as time passes it gets harder and harder to believe he'll be here with me.

I miss everything about him, his scent, the warmth of his body, the strength of his arms when he holds me, the softness of his kiss and the sound of his voice.

I am excited for his homecoming and what our future together has in store for us.

Donnie I love you more than my heart can hold, always and forever!

Love of My Life

Over the years I've been in four serious relationships, three I  married and one I didn't ; thank goodness because he was very abusive.

I am married to the love of my life now, Donnie! We met back in the 90's. My abusive boyfriend at that time actually introduced us. Donnie was also in a relationship when we first met. We became close friends and through the years we could always confide in each other. We celebrated each others successes and were always there for each other during the bad times.

I really grew to care for him and thought he was amazing but didn't think we'd ever be together as a couple. When I became single he'd be in a relationship; when he was single I was in a relationship. Our relationship as friends was one of trust and respect. I had always wanted to be more than friends with him but we seemed to never be single at the same time. Also the thought of losing his friendship if we got together and had a bad break up was not anything I wanted to chance.

Over the years we had even set up the other with friends when the other was single but those relationships never worked out.
Although I adored him and was attracted to him I never let him know how I cared about him and that I was in love him.

By chance we finally were both single and one evening he showed up at my home. One thing lead to another and we crossed over that "friendship" line. I was happy and scared at the same time because I was afraid of losing him as a friend. Time passed and we both finally told each other how we felt. Turns out we'd been attracted to each other for many years but thought we weren't each others type because we were never single at the same time and hadn't told the other how we felt about the other. I figured we just weren't meant to be together.

He lived his life, even moving out of state for awhile. I had become very close to his grandparents; they raised him, and always knew where he was and how he was doing. Everytime he'd come back to Colorado I knew it somehow without ever being told by anyone. I'd call one of his close friends and ask if Donnie was there, I'd always be told he hadn't seen him. But shortly after I'd get a callback from Donnie and he just got into town. It is eerie when it happens but that is how in tune we are. To this day I still get a gut feeling from him and I'll call him to make sure everything is okay. He gets the same vibes about me.

Don't get me wrong, our relationship hasn't been all roses and happiness. We've had our ups and downs more than once. But once emotions have settled and we've had time to think about things we are back in each others arms.

It won't be long now before Donnie will be home. He's been gone since April 2012. It has been a struggle for me and many life changes have occurred during his time in prison. I have had lots of alone time for soul searching and I know I LOVE MY HUSBAND MORE THAN MY HEART CAN HOLD!!!

We are going to have a barbecue once he's home with the people who have supported and helped us during our time apart. When times are bad we find out who our "real friends" are. The others can fuck off!

We are also renewing our vows! Our anniversary is March 8, 2004.

I am happily married to my best friend and soulmate <3

<3 Paisley <3

On December 12, 2012 Dharma and Jax blessed us with a female black tricolor puppy. She was a whooping 3.20 ounces when she was whelped. Dharma had an easy time whelping and is a wonderful mom!
Paisley was doing great at first but once she turned a month old she stopped gaining weight. She looked out of porportion, her head was getting bigger and her eyes were getting bigger. She was reminding me of another puppy we had about 10 years ago who was a hydro baby. He, Hemi went to the Rainbow Bridge one night by the time he was a month old. I was so scared and saddened by the thought of Paisley's fate turning out the same for her. But I wasn't going to just do nothing! I started supplemental hand feeding her. Within a couple days I was her food source. Dharma was drying up and Paisley couldn't get her fill nursing.
I'm still feeding her on a special diet of puppy formula, Nutri Drops, Karo Syrup, and Stage 1 baby meat. She LOVES the meats!!! I am feeding her every 3-4 hours now depending on whether or not she's hungry.
I weighed her this evening and she's 7.40 ounces now! She is getting so big! She plays with my hand swatting it with her paw. Chews on my fingers, she's getting her teeth in and boy they are sharp!
We adore Paisley so much! We are so happy that she isn't a "failure to thrive" puppy and pray she will be with us for many years to come!

Getting Sick

UGH!!! I have been sick for almost a week now. Is crazy because I'm not around many people but I do go out in public.
When I open doors I pull my sleeve over my hand (if I'm wearing long sleeves). When we go to stores and utilize their shopping cart we even wipe down the areas we would touch. But yet we still get sick.
I don't like being sick because the world continues on and I fall behind on things. That is a silly statement because I don't know of any one who enjoys it. There isn't anyone but me to do things here at home. I'm not able to do things like I used to any more; getting older sucks big time!
Any ways I thought I'd gotten lucky and skipped getting sick because it has happened previously around November - December. My body decided to just delay it I guess. Hopefully I get over this soon and am able to get my strength back sooner than later.
So... I 'm still here I'm just resting and trying to get back to being healthy.

Laidback Life and Loving It

I have had a lot of time by myself for awhile ... it took some time adjusting to being the only person home. In the beginning I would get so lonely and I'd have to leave before I got too depressed. I don't have many friends I hang out with any more but it was good to get out. I was scared to leave the house because I sometimes would get lost and have no idea where I was so I couldn't get back home. If I didn't make it home before dark I would have panic attacks. After that happened a few times I'd make sure I went out in the early morning so I would be home way before the sunset. It's easier to figure out where I was during the day because of the mountains, they are west and I live out east. I was under so much stress back then that I think that is what caused it. I would also forget lots of things and couldn't remember previous things I did. Life is getting better now and it doesn't happen as frequently. I actually enjoy staying home, I love the peace and easy going attitude of country living not to mention being so close to nature. The city stresses me out! The rude people, the traffic, how close the houses are to each other, and especially how everyone is rushing around. City life isn't for me any more, I need my space and the laid back way of life of country living for my sanity and health. I'm beach bum turned country girl and I'm happy!